


Domesticity

by trash4felixmcscouty (deanswhiskeyveins)



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Could be platonic, Could be romantic, Cute, Definitely not morning people, Depends on you I guess, F/M, Felix McScouty, Felix x Reader, Fluff, Grumpy mercs, Java heaven, Locus McFlustered, Locus x Reader, Still pretty cute though, Take it however you please, Tangerine waffle iron, The evil x-box, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Two big babies, emilywritesrvb, felixwritestrashythings, trash babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 14:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10413987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanswhiskeyveins/pseuds/trash4felixmcscouty
Summary: Fluffy stuff.Kinda more of a domestic AU where stuff hurts less the boys can take a break.Gah! I'm such a sucker for my orange trashcan. x3Feedback is always appreciated!EnjoyEm





	

**_Prompt: “I’d kill for a coffee… literally.”_ **

“Um, Locus? Are you okay?” you asked hesitantly. He had the equivalent of an eagle’s nest on his head and murder in his eyes. If you took a walk downtown with him right now, you’d be given the entire street for walking space.

“I’m exhausted.”

“Well, that much is obvious.” You tried to tame some of his flyaways. “Better do something about your hair before you end up with dreads.”

“I’ll fix it later.”

“Well, I was gonna treat you to some Starbucks, but if you wanna go looking like that, it’s cool with me.” You swore you saw his ears visibly perk up. “Might even get us through the line faster.”

Locus stared out the apartment window with a wistful expression on his face. “I’d kill for a coffee… literally.”

“Well, Mr. Mercenary, while that idea may sound fine and dandy, it’d be a waste of ammo.”

“Ammo is never considered wasted when it comes to coffee.” he grumbled, pouting slightly. It was utterly adorable and made your heart warmer than the sun.

“I can’t argue with that.”

Locus walked back to his room and grabbed a hoodie and some shoes. “I’ll give you five dollars if you wake Felix up.”

“You don’t have five dollars.” you deadpanned.

“I’ll owe you ten dollars.”

“You’re just putting yourself farther into debt.”

“I’m a mercenary,” he said. “There will always be money.”

“Yeah, but it never seems to be on hand, now does it.” you snarked.

Locus just rolled his eyes, stepping past you to the front door. “I’ll cook _and_ do the dishes for a week.”

Well, you weren’t gonna say no to that. “Deal.” You stood in front of Felix’s door. “Oh, and you owe me ten dollars regardless.”

Leaving Locus to grumble to himself about ‘insufficient caffeine levels’ and ‘it’s too early for this crap’, you entered the dark cavern that was Felix’s domain. Clothes were scattered along the floor left and right and the walls had various pockmarks left from previous bouts of knife throwing. In the middle of it all, sprawled out on a, you guessed it, California king-sized bed was the trashy tangerine waffle iron himself.

Why would one person need all that bed space, anyway?

“Rise and shine, fuckface.” Crawling onto the mattress for better access, you slapped him over the head with one of his discarded pillows, easily dodging the knife that was flung in your direction.

“Fuck off, Y/N. It’s too early.” Wow, sometimes you really had to remember this big baby actually killed people for a living.

“Fine, no free Starbucks for you.” You dropped the pillow on the lump hiding in the sheets. When you got no response, you left his room for the front entrance. “Guess it’s just you and me Lo. More coffee and yummy pastries for us.” you said.

Locus gave you a ‘really?’ look and then held up one of his hands. Three, two, one…

Felix came barreling from the hallway, scooping you onto his back quicker than you could say ‘money’. “Yeesh, I just needed a sec to throw something on. Don’t get your shit in a twist.”

Getting a comfortable grip so you wouldn’t fall, you hung your head over his shoulder to get a better look at him. “You were sleeping naked again, weren’t you?”

“You caught me.” Felix chuckled, giving you a loud smooch on the cheek. “Now let’s get this show on the road. I need the strongest caffeine drip known to man, stat!”

“I think you’ll have to fight Lo for it.” you said.

“Pfft, bring it on tough guy.” Felix gloated, putting up his fists in a mock fighting stance. “Y/N/N and I will tag team ya.”

Locus glared. “Are you quite done?”

“Mood killer.”

“Guys,” you interrupted, “Let’s get going, you have the rest of the day to square off like jackasses, I promise.”

“Sounds good to me.” “Agreed.” Felix set you back onto the floor gently.

You all left the apartment in a flurry after that, desperate to get a taste of java heaven. Just another day with your favorite mercs.

**Author's Note:**

> Fluffy stuff.  
> Kinda more of a domestic AU where stuff hurts less the boys can take a break.  
> Gah! I'm such a sucker for my orange trashcan. x3
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated!  
> Enjoy
> 
> Em


End file.
